Ride a Rocket to Your Ideal Life

Self-improvement gurus and thought leaders often say that 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗲.

When a plane flies from New York to Honolulu, it needs to constantly assess where it is relative to where it wants to be. And then adjust its course.

That's how it gets where it wants to go.

The moral of the story is that you are constantly reassessing and replotting your course as you travel. And that you should do the same in your quest for an ideal life.

Which is good as far as it goes. But the 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 in one way.

That approach works great if you know exactly where you want to end up (Honolulu airport).

But what if you don't know?

What if you have a general idea, or just want to get "in the neighborhood"? Then once you're there, you'll refine your final destination.

"An island in the Pacific, I'll pick exactly which when I get closer" would be an awful destination to send a plane to. You'd probably end up 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗢𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗻.

Take your inspiration for achieving your ideal life, not from airline flights, but from space launches.

If you want to get to Mars, there are 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗱𝘀 that can get you there.

𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀, such as the one that launched the Mars Rover, pick a specific point on the surface of Mars. They figure out where that will be a few months from now and fire a very fast rocket toward that point.

The rocket has tiny thrusters to adjust its trajectory along its path. (So, we can keep the airplane story's lesson.) Once at Mars, the rocket burns a massive amount of fuel to slow down and either land or go into a stable orbit.

This method relies on you 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 to get where you want to go.

The second method for Martian launches is called 𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲. And it addresses the big failure of the first analogy.

Using this method, you shoot your rocket into the Martian orbit, slightly ahead of and slower than the red planet. As the planet gains on your rocket, it pulls it into planetary orbit.

This method relies on the 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗲𝘁 to do most of the work. You just have to spend the resources to get close.

You are now "in the neighborhood". Wherever you want to go on the surface, a small fuel burst will get you there.

It's much more forgiving, if you don't have an exact destination.

So, whether you have a precise vision of your ideal life, or just a general idea, a 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝘀 is the right analogy of how to achieve it.

If you just have a general idea, you have to identify your Mars. What part of your ideal life is so big that it has its own gravitational force? If you can achieve that, the rest of your ideal life will easily fall into place.

Here's 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗶𝘁.

I wanted a life with time freedom in a relationship-oriented culture. And I wanted to do healing, teaching work. For me, the culture was the biggest thing, that would allow the rest to grow naturally.

My Mars was the island of Nevis in the Caribbean. I launched my rocket by moving here with my husband in 2022.

I've used the time since then to experiment with different healing modalities and establish a presence as an online writer. I also built connections with the people around me.

I found the perfect healing modality for me last fall, and finished my certification this year. My rocket is making its final adjustments for a precise landing.

But because I let the gravitational force of my Mars (living on Nevis) do most of the hard work, 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗲𝗿 than if I'd had to figure everything out in advance.

Here's how you can 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲:

1️⃣ Identify your Mars - the part of your ideal life that has its own gravitational force

2️⃣ Launch your rocket - put yourself in the path of your Mars

3️⃣ Explore the planet - figure out the specifics of your ideal life

4️⃣ Land on Mars! - take the final steps to create your ideal life

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 M𝗮𝗿𝘀 has arrived. Welcome to your ideal life!

1. Performance Anxiety - Read the case study

2. Feeling Invisible - resolved “if they notice me, they’ll punish me”

3. Feeling Resignation - requires multiple sessions but progress was made

This week, the phenomenal Linda Caroll shared some beautifully written words by Victor Hugo, author of Les Misérables, in her newsletter. She reminded us that communicating clearly and effectively is important, but a master writer can pen his (or her) words on your heart.

Like moths, we are inspired to strive for the light. To reach our ideal life. But we risk allowing it to consume us. Stories and parables are full of these warnings, from the legend of Icarus to the story of the tall poppy. Fear of what might happen if we strive to reach our potential keeps many from even trying.

Use the Mars ballistic capture approach, and don’t fight to reach your ideal life. Allow one element of that ideal life to capture you, so it does all the heavy lifting. That leaves your resources available to finesse and fine tune the rest of it.

To your ideal life!

Jennifer Dunne, Caribbean Compassion Coaching